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Friday, 23 November 2012

i haven't updated in what seems like ages, mostly because i don't really want people to know what's been going on in my personal life, which kind of defeats the purpose of this blog.

anyway, a major event has happened in my life!!...i've FINALLY (unofficially) FINISHED SCHOOL! the sense of newfound freedom isn't as sweet as i hoped it would be, though. i find myself itching to do something productive whenever i lapse into my lazy mode. maybe it's the anxiety and nervousness of having to actually find a job. for once, i am truly no longer a student! i have to go out into the world and start feeding myself! it's quite a scary thing, really. trying not to scare myself here, but...omg, it's SCARY.

i'm trying to be positive, and look forward to all the other career fairs coming up. it's still nerve-wracking, though. what if my portfolio isn't good enough? what if i just haven't been doing...enough? oh gosh. it's so scary okay i shall stop scaring myself now and just draw everyday but now i feel like drawing everyday isn't enough, i've got to draw every second of my life until i get to the standard that i hope to reach one day. and even then i might not reach it.

here's to hoping for good things though! for now, i'll work towards my goal and be a kick-ass artist eventually.

3:33 AM | back to top

Friday, 6 January 2012

Erm stuff for myself


Fanart Thread

Wallpaper Thread

Knockwurst's Gallery

Caitlyn, Miss Fortune




10:34 PM | back to top

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

in the end, they're all the same.

3:37 AM | back to top

Thursday, 8 September 2011

i haven't updated for a while! o_O

anyway..nothing significant has happened, i think. i just started my second year at digipen!! omg. i can't believe i've survived till now. i kept thinking i would die or quit at some point so many times, but i'm still here! im still not sure if it'll be for long, but i hope i can last :/ lol.

people have this unwavering confidence that i can pass everything and i can do anything, but i know my own capabilities ): i hope i can do better this time though! even though i rlyrlyrly hate 3d. ~__~ i have to overcome this mental barrier!! i must overcome my hatred! OTL i feel so erghh just thinking about modelling and rigging and animating in 3d, idk how im actually going to do everything. God help me! i hope i can pull through this!

just 3-4 more months to go and this will all end..for two weeks. lol.

12:46 AM | back to top

Saturday, 9 July 2011

sometimes i wonder..am i too naive for wanting to believe the best in people? like, if someone says they want to change, i believe that they can. even though it's the second or third or fourth time they're saying it. and i trust that people won't let me down. or they'll do what is right or morally correct. or..i don't know. i like to think that everyone has good intentions, just expressed wrongly sometimes.

ultimately, i think it's the heart that matters. of course, there are people who would wish harm on others, but im pretty sure i know very few of those people..

speaking of that, i cannot understand such people. ~_~ why wouldn't they want to be nice to everyone in the hope that everyone would be nice back in return? it's a two-way thing! kindness begets kindness.

agh whatever im so sleepy right now good night.

3:15 AM | back to top

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

it's like..i understand, yknow? because im a girl too. and i know how it feels. but i just wish it would stop. :/ even though i trust him, im still not very comfortable with it. but im not so mean and unreasonable! it's just..sighhh. why so complicated? if only everything in life could be smooth-sailing.

12:09 AM | back to top

Friday, 24 June 2011

sigh..i need to be less sensitive.

and i HATE crying! it always drains energy! and i always feel stupid after crying. and my eyes would feel so dry. arghhh. so many tears ive shed..

2:36 AM | back to top


any references to people living or dead is purely coincidental. trust me~